We cannot change what we don’t understand. Our behaviors – from what we do when we first wake up, to how we show up in our most stressful moments—demonstrate this truth. We cannot change *behavior* that we don’t understand.

Why do we act the way we do? How is it that some folks are able to show up to stressful situations as the best version of themselves, while others fall into reactionary behaviors? How is it that some people are better equiped to navigate tough moments in life?

By understanding and honoring your nervous system’s unique response to stress, you unlock your ability to build better habits, lead with empathy, communicate with clarity, and become an agent of transformative change in your life, in your community, and in the world.


Every way we respond to stress – both consciously and subconsciously – is informed by the autonomic nervous system. This system is carefully calibrated. It is informed by a lifetime of experience, generations of evolutionary knowledge, and our unique, individual nature.

It has been fine-tuned throughout human evolution, building a hierarchal structure that informs our individual responses to stress. It is designed to keep us safe. It is designed to keep our species safe. It is bigger than our individual choices, and yet it is a highly personalized response.

We are talking about Polyvagal Theory – the scientific concept of the relationship between the autonomic nervous system and our most fundamental needs for safety and connection. This theory, developed by Stephen Porges, outlines the relationship between our behaviors and our biology. Within Polyvagal Theory exists the concept of Autonomic Balance – that sweet spot in which both the sympathetic and the parasympathetic branches of the autonomic nervous system exert equal influence. In this state, our bodies and our brains achieve a sort of equilibrium. A person feels a sense of calm control. Their ventral vagal pathways are activated, allowing them to access both parts of their autonomic nervous system. In this state, we feel safe. In this state, our nervous systems are regulated. We’re ready. We’re in control.

But how do we get there?


Build better Habits

Our habits are formed by repeated behaviors. Although sometimes done through conscious effort, most of our habits are formed subconsciously – a reaction to a set of stimuli, informed by past experiences, and shaped by our autonomic nervous system. The complexity of this system makes change difficult. You cannot change behavior that you don’t understand. The Bocas Method gives is designed to give you the tools and build the skills necessary to deconstruct the relationship between this system and our real-world behaviors. You’ll learn to recognize and honor the uniqueness of your nervous system so you can begin building better habits.

Lead with empathy

Even if you don’t consider yourself a leader, there are moments in our lives in which we are called upon to lead. As a parent, as a friend, as a colleague – every individual needs to understand not just their own behavior/biology relationship, but also how that relationship influences the behaviors of those around them. Through the Bocas Method, individuals will gain the skills to embark on a journey of meaningful collaboration. You’ll gain the insight and skills necessary to lead with empathy.

Communicate with Clarity

The nervous system likes clarity. And yet, sometimes this complex system moves us down a path in which our response to stress informs our communication, obfuscating what we really want to (and need to) say. The Bocas Method empowers you to pause, to recognize, and to honor the response your autonomic nervous system is having to a stressful situation. Then it gives you the skills to move forward and communicate from a place of clarity.

Become an agent of transformative change in your life, in your community, and in the world.

When you begin to make transformative change in your own life, you can begin to recognize those opportunities for better habits, empathic leadership, and clearer communication in the world around you. By internalizing the knowledge and skills gained through working with the Bocas Method, you can become that agent of positive, transformative change in your own life, and in the lives of others.